When Words Fail
by HeavenlyBodies
Summary: Arthur had a way of surprising him and taking care of him when he didn't even know it. WARNINGS! modern!AU, disability- hearing loss


****Warnings/Squicks:** **modern!AU, hearing loss, wee bit o' angst****  
>Disclaimer:<strong> **not mine, never have been, never will be**  
><strong>**  
><strong>**AN1:** So **myashke** waved this in my face causing much drooling and a mesmerized Mys… it also led to a discussion of… well, yes, anyway this supposed to be a PWP, but Merlin wouldn't let it go there, it turned into schmoop… normally it goes the other way. *piffle* I'd rattled this off the day we talked… then I got my Team Building assignment and just couldn't put one out there without the other. This was pure fancy, meant for cooing purposes and porn nothing more.  
><strong>AN2:<strong> Also, I do not pretend to know _all_that much about deafness and hearing loss, I know a little garnered from different forms and levels of experience, but not a lot, so no offense meant, yeah.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Arthur rubbed his cheek alongside Merlin's as he purred his name deep in his throat. He knew his lover loved the feel of his voice rumbling against his skin. It always made him buck wilder when they made love and melt against him when they weren't. Merlin simply loved the sensation.

Merlin had been deaf most of his life, an auto accident robbing him of his father and his hearing at the age of eight. His voice was remarkably clear and lightly accented though not heavily, his few years of hearing had granted him that. He remembered laying in hospital, scared and confused; seeing doctors talking to his mother and not hearing them as her hand tightened around his. So many nights he spent in that hospital bed with his mother holding him, singing to him and letting the soft timbre roll from her body into his creating a kind of magic all its own- it was pure and primal. Now, he held tight to the feel of a person's speech, the sounds they made that vibrated through their bodies without them ever noticing, he trusted those more than what the audible world could have brought him. It was something few people outside the community understood. Yet somehow Arthur had, of all the people he knew he'd never expected it from him, but Arthur had a way of surprising him.

Arthur never treated him differently because of his hearing; he was an ass to him regardless. He had been an enigma for the first year Merlin had known him. He could sling a biting insult at him one moment and jump to his defense in the next. Arthur would be the first to get upset when someone talked around Merlin instead of to him; he was also the first to take it upon himself to learn sign language even though Merlin was an expert lip reader.

Merlin remembered the exact moment their relationship changed. They were out at the pub, Lance and Gwen, Gwaine and Arthur's half-sister Morgana, Arthur and him, like always.

They'd been there a couple hours when a pack of punters came in- Merlin assumed they were celebrating seeing as they seemed to already be three sheets to the wind.

Arthur immediately tensed. He didn't like the sudden change in atmosphere. Merlin didn't go out like this often, he preferred coffee shops and cafes, places where he wouldn't get tousled and people didn't overload his vision; Arthur knew this. It might not be something he advertised, but he noticed, paid attention to Merlin's reactions and the things he did to cope. And he really didn't like the way these asses were steam-rolling over the bar. "What'd you say we move this to my place?" he asked as subtly as possible, signing to make sure Merlin heard, and hoping the offer of his flat and the alcohol his friends knew he kept there would entice them out of the pub.

"We're good." Lance answered, looking to Gwen for confirmation; she nodded.

"Come, now, Arthur, don't tell me you of all people are growing claustrophobic, especially because of a few muscle bound oafs. It must remind you of your footie days," Morgana teased.

Thankfully, Gwaine picked up on what was making Arthur on edge. Then again he'd always been more aware of Merlin than most people- it was one of Gwaine's most endearing qualities as far as Arthur was concerned. "I'm up for whatever, so long as there's alcohol I'll be just fine." He turned to Merlin, "You?"

Merlin shrugged, he wasn't comfortable with the influx of people, but he wasn't going to be a downer on their evening- he'd managed through worse. "Fine."

Arthur grumbled but accepted is friend's word. Forty minutes later, he wished he hadn't.

The others were getting lost in each other, being couple-y and instinctively sinking back into their own worlds to get away from the ruckus growing around them. They didn't notice the way Merlin's eyes flit across the crowd more rapidly than normal or the look of concentration on his face as the din rose. Arthur wanted nothing more than to grab Merlin's hand and pull him out of there and into the safety of his flat.

He managed to wait another excruciating ten minutes before grabbing Merlin's elbow and wordlessly guiding him out the door. "Sorry," he said once they were outside.

Merlin looked at Arthur as if seeing him for the first time. "Thank you."

Merlin was rewarded with one of Arthur's blinding smiles. In that instant Merlin knew Arthur understood. But it was more than that, Arthur was taking care of him and always had been.

Weeks and months of smiles and barely concealed glances, silent and not so silent thanks for protection and comfort, a kiss breathed over a strong cheek, another, more sure, placed on perfect lips. Now, Arthur mouthed his way down and across Merlin's chest, a soft litany of 'yes'es, and 'mine's, and 'so beautiful's falling from his lips. With each word Merlin shuddered and mewled, pushing up into Arthur's mouth as he laid kiss after open-mouthed kiss along Merlin's skin. It had taken Arthur longer than he liked to admit to understand Merlin's reaction. When they'd first gotten together and Merlin would lean against him resting his hand over his heart or pressing his back firmly against his chest- he liked to feel the rhythms as Arthur's emotions changed, this was the same. He kissed his way back up to Merlin's face. Gently he took his face in his hands running his thumbs along his sharp cheekbones, then pressed his body flush chest to bare chest with Merlin's and whispered with his throat pressed along Merlin's jaw and cheek, "You feel it."

He was rewarded with a whimper and a gentle, "Yes."

Arthur smiled, "I love you," he let the words rumble through his chest deeper and richer than he ever though he could have, but he meant it more deeply than he ever had before and he wanted to make sure Merlin _felt_every bit of that love. Arthur had made Merlin come with only his voice for the first time that night; the reverberations of his voice had been as intense as a physical touch for him.

Since then Arthur had made a study of exactly every reaction every nuance of his voice produced in Merlin. It had become a kind of language all their own and he'd never felt closer to anyone. Like now, when Arthur purred against Merlin's cheek, their bodies fitting together and 'I love you' thrummed between them on soundless words.


End file.
